It's My Privilege
by badpirate
Summary: You owe me nothing in return. HR/SB, one-shot


**Author's Note**: This was written during a weeklong fanfiction challenge I did over at my sketch/fic blog. For more details, please look through the archives of hremail-livejournal-com!

She smiled up at him. "This is it."

Homestar squeezed her hand, a weak grin on his face. "Yeah."

"Are you sure about this?"

He glanced up at her from his position on the floor. "I think so."

Marzipan sighed, pulling her hand away from his. "'Think' or 'know'? You can't go halfway on this, Homestar. If you do, it's not going to work."

"It's gonna work! I want it to work," he insisted, getting up from his knees. She pushed him back down and he pouted. "I need it to work."

"Then try again."

He sighed harshly and looked back down at the black velvet box in his hand. He held it out to her and grinned weakly. "Will you marry me?"

She snorted and hit his hand away. "Yeah right, Dorkstar, real funny. Now quit playing around and make me a sandwich," she huffed, voice deepened for her best Strong Bad impression.

He clumsily caught the box in mid air before glaring up at her. "Oh come on. You can't have him think it's a joke everytime! And I do not anyways make him sandwiches. Sometimes he makes me sandwiches."

"Knuckle sandwiches don't count. And you're making it sound like a joke! You're smiling and you're being all overdramatic and... and not-you," she sighed, kneeling down. She picked up the box and looked over the modest pair of gold bands, a smile edging its way onto her lips. "Do you know why I started going out with you?"

"Because I'm hot."

"Besides that, sweetie." She paused, but he didn't seem to have a ready answer to that. "I started going out with you because you had a way of making me feel... like me."

Marzipan got to her feet and helped him up. "You could always make me laugh. You're special, Homestar." She picked at his tie and straightened it for a moment. Homestar was hopeless when it came to tying ties. "You always knew what I needed, even before I did. Strong Bad would have to be a fool to say no."

Homestar gently grabbed her hand and she gave it another squeeze. "Go. You're going to be late if you dawdle any longer."

"Thanks, Marzipan," he grinned, kissing her on the forehead. She waved goodbye as he hurdled over her couch to get to the door.

"Good luck," she sighed, readjusting the pillows he had plowed over.

Homestar ran down the street, slipping his jacket on in mid-run. He came to a halt at Strong Bad's house, but his heart didn't stop beating furiously inside his chest.

He looked down at the black box with a frown, eyes wandering away from the velvet casing to the cracked sidewalk. A set of hand prints were embedded into the concrete. He removed his shoe and smiled at Strong Bad's signature. Vandalizing your own pavement and having the gall to sign your work- that was Strong Bad, all right.

He sighed and started stretching. Proposing to Strong Bad was like a great sports play- you can't just go rushing into the score zone. You need to prepare. You need to get psyched. You need a plan.

Homestar toed the sidewalk with his foot, before he nervously headed for the door. He eyeballed the small potted plant- Credenza- on the step before the door opened.

Just like that, his plan was gone. Strong Bad looked him up and down. "Woah, fancy digs tonight. I know we're going to like... a _real_ restaurant tonight but I figured that just meant 'clean shirt' not 'super hot suit'," he mused, motioning to his much more casual attire. He grabbed his shoulder and spun him halfway around. "I feel a bit under dressed. Do we got a minute while I get changed?"

Strong Bad looked up at him expectantly when he didn't respond right away. "Homestar?"

His name seemed to snap Homestar out of whatever trance he had been. He shook his head and grabbed Strong Bad's hand. "You don't have to get changed-" He quickly pulled his hands away and undid his tie. "It's fine. You don't have to change. You're... you're perfect. You're perfect and I love you and I'm scared."

Strong Bad looked up at him quizzically. "Oooo...kay. Are you feeling all right?"

"I'm fine, just... scared." Homestar bit his lip again. "I love you and I'm... I'm always gonna love you. And I hope you feel the same because I want to marry you if you don't you're gonna say no and you can't say no because I might throw up in your potted plant if you do."

There was quiet for a moment. "...are you... _proposing?_"

"Yes," Homestar blurted. He shook his head. "I mean, no. Well, I am, but I haven't yet but I was going to at the restaurant because that seemed like the right place but I guess I kinda ruined the surprise an-" Strong Bad started laughing, interrupting his ramblings. Homestar's heart sunk into his stomach. "This isn't funny!"

"I know, I know, it's serious and shit," Strong Bad said, trying to stop himself. "But you're just so flail-y and bad at this. Y...you want me to close the door so you can try again?"

"Oh god, yes please."

"Allright then." The door clicked in Homestar's face and he waited a few seconds before knocking again. Strong Bad answered it as casually as he could, still trying to bite back a smile. "What do you want?"

Homestar was quiet for a second. "...you."

"Tall order, don't you think?" Strong Bad asked, inspecting his nails. "I mean, you can't just buy me used on eBay. I'm one of a kind. What are you gonna give me in exchange for... me?"

"...well, me."

He looked him over. "Hmm. Seems like a fair enough trade. Tell you what, you throw in like... fifty bucks, and it's a deal," he grinned.

Homestar pulled out one of the rings and slipped it on Strong Bad's finger. "This do?"

Strong Bad examined it for a few seconds. "You got ripped off," he stated simply.

"Oh?" Homestar asked, genuinely concerned. "I've never bought real jewelry before, but it seemed reasonably priced..."

Strong Bad took the box and gently slipped the matching ring onto Homestar's finger. "Mmhmm. I totally woulda traded me for you, ring or no ring," he mused, grabbing his tie. He pulled him down to eye level and kissed him. "Yes."

"Really?" Homestar squeaked excitedly.

"Even though you totally fail at proposing? Yes. Really. It's my privilege," he teased. "Don't worry, I'll tell my mom you weren't a flailing nerd and actually proposed like a normal human being."

"Much appreciated. You still wanna go get changed?" he asked. Strong Bad pulled the tie from his neck and shook his head. He tossed it over his shoulder before closing the door behind them.

"Nope. This is perfect, just the way it is."


End file.
